Man Cleaning.

I hate cleaning. I do it, but i hate it. Christina keeps telling me how much i suck at it too. which makes me hate it even more. i don’t know about you but i don’t pick up everything and dust under them. i just go around it cause honestly when is that last time you picked up that Bucket with the candy in it to see if there is any dust under it?. . . yeah thats what i thought. We have clutter in our house not junk but just clutter we have a lot of stuff and a small house. It never looks trashy but it just has a lot in it. I’m sure you know what i am talking about. almost everyone has one of those rooms that has a ton of stuff in it but nothing is trash. so moral of the story is i suck at cleaning cause i do a crappy job. which brings me to my favorite kind of cleaning. MAN CLEANING. yes man cleaning its the best. the kind of cleaning you use a push broom not one of those tiny little brooms. Yeah a man broom has to be at least 3 feet wide. That says I am only going to sweep this floor if i can do it in four sweeps. this is also the kind of sweeping that you don’t use a dust pan you use a shovel or you just open up the cannonball door and sweep it out side. OH YEAH thats what i am talking about. and if you are going to do any kind of sweeping you use a vacuum that is named for where you use it. The Shop Vac. yeah this vac is the best it don’t matter if its wet or dry im using that thing to suck up the mess. thats the stuff. I am saying all of this cause i was over helping my dad clean up his shop this past weekend. i was sweating up a storm and for some reason i just love it. just for the reason that i hate cleaning house. all you gotta do is make it look OK. “What are you doing don’t move that just sweep around it” yeah its like that. That is why the shop is the man’s territory cause there is no one picking up after you. which means you never asked where did she put that thing. its always right where you left it. its a good place to be sometimes i’ll tell you that.

-MeaD.

The Ultimate Job.

So recently there has been some things happen in my life that pushed me into doing certain things. These things were not bad things but it put me in a certain role that all us men have been put into and have to hold once we have been put into the role. What role am i talking about?

 

The Man Role

This is a role where it shows up most when you become in a relationship. I am not going to say when you are married cause you can be put into his role with out being married. It just comes out more when you are with someone. I have been doing it and really didn’t realize it till my buddy said yeah “part of the ‘man’ thing“. So for those of you that don’t really know what the man role encompasses here is the list that i have came up with.

 

Man Role (not in any particular order)

1. Cooking on the Grill is your Main Talent.

2. Number 1 use for your shoulder Pillow.  2nd use connect your arm to your body.

3. Fixer of The TV and or any electronics.

      3.1 this also includes you always being responsible for the remote even if you didn’t touch it.

4. Opener of all jars.

5. Official Spider Killer

6. Killer of anything crawling.

7. Checker of any noise in the middle of the night.

8. Staying level headed no matter how freaked out you are to keep her from not freaking out more.

9. Always Making certain sacrifices that she will never know about

10. Always knowing where you are even if you really don’t.

11. (this is a good one) Making the right turn even though its a left just cause she “know” thats its that way. Then going back the way you knew it was.

12. Making her feel good when she is sad.

13. Doing the stupidest things in the world, Total embarrassment & Humiliation just to get a smile.

14. (important one) Loving her even when she is being the biggest pain in the $#%@$.

15. Fully Enjoying every argument you win till the end of time.

 

So that is the criteria for the man role. At least thats my criteria I know everyones is different but i know that every man has them and they don’t stray to far from these. so yeah.

-MeaD.